there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
