She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
