I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
