no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
