in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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