i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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