everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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