he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
