I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Randomize
