He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish i was in the wii world.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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