Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
