Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
