And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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