He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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