CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
