I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
