I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
