Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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