Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize