He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
