white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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