I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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