belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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