booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
