i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
