at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
