Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
