By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
