He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
