and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
