imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
