You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
