okay pat passed out under dana's car
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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