i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
