even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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