OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
