i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
