Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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