If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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