true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he puts the penis in happiness.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
