I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
