i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
