how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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