Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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