Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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