so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
