were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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