you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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