so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
