i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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