I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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