Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
