i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
