Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize