we have officially lost it.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
