So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
