the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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