well you can't waste a boner
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
