I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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