I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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