lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
