His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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