My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
