I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
