You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
