it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
