Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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